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Monday, January 13, 2014

True love

What is true love? Somethin I can tell you I never believed in. The only love I held true was the love I have held for my children. I have never truly been in love. I have loved but not with my whole heart. Perhaps because everyone I gave even the smallest part of myself it was taken for granted. For the last ten years I had been a Stepford wife to no avail. My ex husband, who had been my best friend since the age of ten. A man I thought I could truly trust, inlfct the only person I had truly trusted cheated on me for years abused me mentally, emotionally, verbally, and at times physically. In the end he walked out on me and our child to be with another woman and care for her children while mine went without. I had cancer and the man cheated on me with my friend! Power for the course as every man in my life has been disgusting and abusive in one way or another. During my divorce I took some months to contemplate love, I had come to the conclusion that maybe Im to giving of myself. And decided to lock down my heart. Then I met a man through a friend. We texted for quite some time after a few months we went on our first date. I liked everything I saw piercing, tattoos mmmm . I was taken aback when he opened every door for me even held my hand when I walked down stairs or even a curb so as to help me keep balance in my six inch heels! Lol He was amazing, but alas I was not lookin for love, just a good time as well as he. He was very polite intelligent and kind. I went back to his house knowing our intentions. That was when his crazy ex came over and stopped anything before it started. Im glad she did because that is not the type of person I am. Well, we hugged the date was over. For months we continued to text and talk, we became amazing friends I expected nothing more from him . To my surprise he asked me to call him hon or luv when I referred to him as sir one night. Before I knew it he asked to come visit me. It was a wonderful night he did not make a move he was very respectful. When it came time to put Trinity to sleep I told him he was about to become a foot stool lol. I was shocked because he started rubbing my feet the very first time that night he touched me. After T fell asleep we moved to the couch n watched movies all night. He asked permission before he touched my arm. We shared a quick kiss and for quite some time it was nothing more every time we saw eachother. He was always respectful and kind. One night he said he was all mine and that's all she wrote. Two weeks later he said he"I love you" I wasn't ready to hear it! I was shocked but he as always was patient and kind. Something I am not used to. He gave me hope when there was none he helped me believe in true love! He is an amazing , caring, loving, perfect friend man and lover! Oh the things that man does for me! And I have the privilege of being handfasted and heart joined with him this Saturday. I have found my happily ever after and he has shown me I deserve that and more! I love you my Spinny James. I love your heart your mind your body. And gods I love that sexy deep voice.