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Monday, January 13, 2014

True love

What is true love? Somethin I can tell you I never believed in. The only love I held true was the love I have held for my children. I have never truly been in love. I have loved but not with my whole heart. Perhaps because everyone I gave even the smallest part of myself it was taken for granted. For the last ten years I had been a Stepford wife to no avail. My ex husband, who had been my best friend since the age of ten. A man I thought I could truly trust, inlfct the only person I had truly trusted cheated on me for years abused me mentally, emotionally, verbally, and at times physically. In the end he walked out on me and our child to be with another woman and care for her children while mine went without. I had cancer and the man cheated on me with my friend! Power for the course as every man in my life has been disgusting and abusive in one way or another. During my divorce I took some months to contemplate love, I had come to the conclusion that maybe Im to giving of myself. And decided to lock down my heart. Then I met a man through a friend. We texted for quite some time after a few months we went on our first date. I liked everything I saw piercing, tattoos mmmm . I was taken aback when he opened every door for me even held my hand when I walked down stairs or even a curb so as to help me keep balance in my six inch heels! Lol He was amazing, but alas I was not lookin for love, just a good time as well as he. He was very polite intelligent and kind. I went back to his house knowing our intentions. That was when his crazy ex came over and stopped anything before it started. Im glad she did because that is not the type of person I am. Well, we hugged the date was over. For months we continued to text and talk, we became amazing friends I expected nothing more from him . To my surprise he asked me to call him hon or luv when I referred to him as sir one night. Before I knew it he asked to come visit me. It was a wonderful night he did not make a move he was very respectful. When it came time to put Trinity to sleep I told him he was about to become a foot stool lol. I was shocked because he started rubbing my feet the very first time that night he touched me. After T fell asleep we moved to the couch n watched movies all night. He asked permission before he touched my arm. We shared a quick kiss and for quite some time it was nothing more every time we saw eachother. He was always respectful and kind. One night he said he was all mine and that's all she wrote. Two weeks later he said he"I love you" I wasn't ready to hear it! I was shocked but he as always was patient and kind. Something I am not used to. He gave me hope when there was none he helped me believe in true love! He is an amazing , caring, loving, perfect friend man and lover! Oh the things that man does for me! And I have the privilege of being handfasted and heart joined with him this Saturday. I have found my happily ever after and he has shown me I deserve that and more! I love you my Spinny James. I love your heart your mind your body. And gods I love that sexy deep voice.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Joys of parenthood

Hello fellow bloggers its me again not doing much today just making chocolate chip cookies for my daughter. My son is at his grandmothers visiting, pretty quiet here except for when Trinity starts crying over nothing but she's 5 so hey. I figured the cookies will help it seems like this is always an issue every time she comes back from her father any suggestions on how to calm her nerves? I just give her all my loving when she's here and try to reassure my little girl. Its heartbreakin.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Back in black

Hello everyone. I know I've been gone a while,but Im back now. Recently divorced and reinvented. I just needed to take some time to go inside myself. All that is over now and I resolve ro spend at least ten minutes a day logging about my life my craft and everything in between. Hope you enjoy I've missed you all. The last year has been about purging things n people I don't need anymore. Some people left under jealous and devious terms others followed along without learning the true story. All of the important people are still here. Guess what? So am I you will never get rid of me Ill be right here strong as ever! Healthier happier and just plain better off without the drama. I don't need the cool kids table, there isn't one without me anyways!! Im out but I'll be back soon. Love you guys!xoxox

Monday, April 16, 2012

This is so beautiful to me. Im really looking into it.

A corset piercing is a piercing that is pierced multiple times mostly side to side to look like a corset being laced up the body. Two rows of bilaterally symmetrical piercings are performed and can be composed of as few as four piercings (two in each row) or as many as the length of the area being pierced (usually the back) and the vertical space between piercings will allow space for. Due to the difficulty and risks associated with permanently healing single surface piercings, most corset piercings are intended to be temporary.

As temporary piercings

Temporary corset piercings are often performed for aesthetic reasons, often as part of a fetish event or photo shoot. A body piercer may also perform a corset piercing to promote his/her business, to be photographed for a portfolio or to be used for advertising purposes. They may also be performed as play piercings as part of BDSM activity. Often temporary corset piercings are worn laced with ribbon, rope, or chain.

Usually temporary corset piercings use captive bead rings as jewelry, but corset piercings intended as play piercings or as part of a short photo shoot might simply be done with hypodermic needles, which will be removed after the activity is finished.

Rarely worn for more than a week, corset piercings may be worn only for a few hours, until the event or activity they were performed for has ended. Temporary corset piercings are open wounds, and are subject to the same infection, cross contamination, and irritation risks as any other healing piercing or small wound. Scarring from the removal of temporary piercings is usually minimal or non-existent.
As permanent piercings

It is possible for the multiple surface wounds that constitute a corset piercing to heal; however, they are unlikely to heal properly. Permanent corset piercings would consist of multiple surface piercings, pierced with jewelry designed for the purpose, and bear all of the healing issues and risks associated with them. To date, the most successful attempts at permanent corset piercings have been performed with surface bars, although some success has been reported using Teflon or Tygon tubing, both of which are flexible and move with the body. There have also been experiments in healing corset piercings as transdermal implants.

Due to the tremendous potential for the healing piercings to be irritated by normal daily life, corset piercings, even healed ones, require constant vigilance by the wearer to prevent damage.

Although corset piercings are usually intended to be laced, during the healing period, especially the initial healing period, surface piercings intended to be part of permanent corset piercings are not usually laced as it puts pressure, torsion, and tension on the piercing that can increase the chances of migration and rejection. Once the piercing is fully healed, one of the beads at the end of the surface bar can be replaced with a special bead, drilled to accept a ring, similar to the bead on a bondage bar. The healed surface piercings can then be laced for aesthetic purposes, although subjecting the piercings to extended periods of lacing can increase the risk of migration or rejection.

Healing and aftercare for corset piercings is identical to healing for any surface piercings, although the healing process can be extended and complicated due to the number of piercings healing at the same time, which puts greater stress on the body. The location of most corset piercings, on the individual's back, can make caring for the healing piercings more difficult as well. Like all surface piercings, rejected or improperly healed corset piercings can leave noticeable permanent scarring.

History and culture

Although corsetry has a long history, the corset piercing is of contemporary origin, coming into practice with the establishment of the body piercing industry in the late 1990s. Like corsetry, it is associated with erotic behavior and aesthetics, particularly fetish aesthetics. Also paralleling corsets, most wearers of corset piercings are women.

There is some controversy regarding the publication and promotion of images of corset piercing. Almost all of the photographs of corset piercing are of fresh piercings, which have not had the time to reject, migrate or otherwise fail to heal properly. Images used in advertising or magazines may be photoshopped or airbrushed to eliminate indications of swelling, redness, or infection, further promoting the illusion that these piercings are easy, or even possible to heal. Photographs of corset piercings done with captive bead rings, which are inappropriate for permanent corset piercings, vastly outnumber photographs of corset piercings done as proper surface piercings. Usually corset piercings are photographed laced, also leading the public to believe that they can be worn laced at all times, which is not possible, even in a well healed, permanent corset piercing.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

As soon as I heal I wanna do this

A suspension is the act of suspending a human body from hooks that have been put through body piercings. These piercings are temporary and are performed just prior to the actual suspension

The process is very delicate and is typically done carefully by an experienced individual or professional of the field in order to avoid serious injury. Suspension may require and often has a small group who handle preparations and the process itself. The actual act of being suspended may take up a tiny portion of time compared to the time involved in preparation, though some people remain suspended for hours. If carried out properly, the suspendee's body will be studied to decide the proper placement, number, and size of metal hooks which are pierced into the skin to lift the person off the ground. Multiple hooks are usually located around the shoulders, upper arm, and back, as well as around the knees (this depends on the position in which the body is to be suspended). Finding the proper hook placement and number involves a great deal of skill in mathematics and an acute understanding of human anatomy and physiology, as well as the durability of the individual's skin. If the number of hooks are too few, the suspended individual's skin will be unable to withstand the body's weight and will rip. When using body areas with fairly strong skin, approximately 2 piercings may be sufficient for some people.[1] Also, the amount of weight each hook supports must be distributed evenly throughout the entire body — any imbalance risks injury. A block and tackle-like machine made for suspension is used and powerful rope that attaches to the hooks is used to slowly and carefully lift an individual a foot or two off the ground — where they may remain relatively motionless for a predetermined period of time. However, depending on the type of suspension, there may be a considerable degree of freedom of movement.[citation needed]


Suspensions are sometimes used for meditation to gain a higher level of spiritual fulfillment or awareness. It can also be used as entertainment or as performance art. Acrobatic actions may be performed, most commonly during a 'suicide' suspension.

There are many different reasons to suspend, from pure adrenaline or endorphin rush, to conquering ones fears, to trying to reach a new level of spiritual consciousness and everything in between. In general, people suspend to attain some sort of "experience". Some people are seeking the opportunity to discover a deeper sense of themselves and to challenge pre-determined belief systems which may not be true. Some are seeking a right of passage or a spiritual encounter to let go of the fear of not being whole or complete inside their body. Others are looking for control over their body, or seek to prove to themselves that they are more than their bodies, or are not their bodies at all. Others simply seek to explore the unknown.[2]


Historically, suspension rituals were performed by the Mandan tribe, located along the banks of the Missouri River.[3] The Oh-Kee-Pa type of suspension was derived from this ritual. Modern day suspensions are closely related to the artwork of performance artists that use their own bodies as canvases. Fakir Musafar is an artist who specializes in suspension and piercing performance pieces, and also started the Modern Primitivism movement. He helped to bring attention to the suspension 'scene' in the United States.[citation needed] The noted performance artist and researcher Stelarc performed many daring suspensions in the 70's and 80's, including hanging himself between skyscrapers. Allen Falkner helped to bring suspensions to people who weren't spiritual, as well as a plethora of different and unique suspension types.



There are two main types of rigging: dynamic, and static. Dynamic rigging primarily uses ropes, or something similar, and one long piece is used to connect the suspender to the apparatus. In static rigging, each hook is attached to the apparatus separately.

The apparatus is usually rigged to a tree, ceiling, scaffolding, etc. using pulleys, or a winch.

Types of suspensions


A chest suspension, sometimes incorrectly referred to as an "O-Kee-Pa", is a suspension in which the hook(s) are placed in the chest. Typically two hooks are used for this type of suspension. This is named after the Okipa ceremony of the Mandan people, as a rite of passage for young men, and also practiced by vision seeking Shaman. In respect to the Mandan people the "O-Kee-Pa" name is not used to reference this position.[3]


A coma suspension is a suspension in which the hooks are placed in the chest, torso and legs, usually in two rows, such that the suspendee is lying face up. The name of this position comes from the similar imagery in the movie Coma.


This suspension takes place hooked from the knees and hung vertically with the head closest to the ground and the knees at the top. There is no standard for hook placement on this suspension, as it depends almost solely on the anatomy of the suspendee. Some people refer to this as a "Falkner" suspension since Allen Falkner is the first known person to ever attempt this particular configuration. This style is relatively new, but is quickly growing in popularity. It is not considered to be an extremely painful suspension, but the drawbacks include lower back pain and ripping of skin in the areas around the knees. Another factor of this suspension is the increased blood pressure to the brain due to the inverted position, which can lead to disorientation and cause headaches.


A suicide suspension is a suspension in which the hook(s) are placed in the upper back, such that the suspendee is hanging upright. This type of suspension is named suicide due to its similarity in appearance to someone who has hanged him or herself.


A resurrection suspension is a suspension in which the suspended person is held up by hooks, usually in two rows on the belly; it gives the impression of rising from death as the suspendee is curved backwards facing up.


A crucifix suspension is a variation on a suicide suspension in which hooks are also placed in the arms, such that the suspendee appears to be hanging on a cross, with his or her arms held out to the side.


A superman suspension is the opposite of a coma suspension - the hooks are placed in the back and legs, usually in two rows, such that the suspendee is lying face down. This type of suspension is named superman due to the similarity in appearance to Superman flying.

Other variations exist, utilizing anywhere from one to dozens of hooks. The rebirth suspension is usually performed with 4 to 6 hooks in the back, with the suspendee in the fetal position, face down. Some hang from calves, ankles, knees, or buttocks. Possibilities even include facial suspension. The "Angel" Suspension is eight hooks in the back where the outline of an angel's wings would be.

Saturday, April 14, 2012


I have been approved for my surgery. I am also having abdominoplasty as well so thjey will be repositioning the belly button. Im scared shitless, I know someone who has had this and she said she couldn't stand strait for weeks. I have a Rammstein concert three weeks after surgery..... I WILL BE THERE DAMN IT!!!!!
I will try to post some pics after surgery. Flat tummy here I come!!!

While weight loss can improve the health of many obese individuals, drastic weight loss, particularly when associated with bariatric surgery, can leave behind large amounts of excess skin. The excess skin and fat in the lower stomach area that hangs below the belt line is called the pannus, or abdominal "apron," and can have several negative affects on one’s quality of life. The extra fold or folds of skin can hinder hygiene, put stress on the back, and make everyday activities difficult. Often, the areas in the pubic region under the pannus can become moist as perspiration is trapped. This can cause rashes, skin ulcers, and odor. Clothing may not fit comfortably, and, if severe, even simple activities such as standing and walking can become difficult. In such cases, a surgical procedure called panniculectomy, a type of abdominoplasty procedure, may be appropriate.

Who Is a Good Candidate for Panniculectomy

People who have lost a large amount of weight and are experiencing negative side effects due to excess skin in the abdominal area are good candidates for panniculectomy. Be aware that a panniculectomy patient should have had stable weight for at least six months, and, if a woman, should not be planning to bear children. A potential patient should also be following a reasonable diet and should be in relatively healthy condition.

The Panniculectomy Procedure

Panniculectomy is an invasive surgical procedure which can take from three to five hours to complete, and always requires at least one overnight stay at the hospital. Unlike abdominoplasty, panniculectomy does not tighten muscle or reposition the belly button. It only removes the excess skin and fat of the pannus from the lower abdomen, using a horizontal incision that runs from hip to hip with a downward curve, and a vertical incision from below the sternum to the pubic area. After overhanging skin and fat are removed, the remaining skin is pulled tight and sutured together.

Panniculectomy Recovery

The first few days after a panniculectomy may be uncomfortable due to swelling and bruising. These symptoms can be eased with proper care and medication. Patients will need to sponge bathe and wear a support garment. Patients are also advised to avoid strenuous activity for a few weeks. However, patients can usually return to work within two weeks of the operation. Stitches are generally removed in about a week, while deeper sutures stay in for two or three weeks. The scars incurred by the surgery will begin to look worse before they look better, but this is normal. They will fade as healing continues. After a few months, patients will really begin to see the results of the surgery and will look and feel better.

Monday, February 27, 2012


As this seems to be an ongoing issue I thought I would post one of the spells I just learned.

Take a cows tongue and nail it to a board, then twist it up and nail the other end. Stick it in your freezer!